Spontaneous Idealist (SI)

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Spontaneous Idealists are creative, lively and open-minded persons. They are humorous and dispose of a contagious zest for life. Their enthusiasm and sparkling energy inspires others and sweeps them along. They enjoy being together with other people and often have an uncanny intuition for their motivations and potential. Spontaneous Idealists are masters of communication and very amusing and gifted entertainers. Fun and variety are guaranteed when they are around. However, they are sometimes somewhat too impulsive in dealing with others and can hurt people without really meaning to do so, due to their direct and sometimes critical nature.

This personality type is a keen and alert observer; they miss nothing which is going on around them. In extreme cases, they tend to be oversensitive and exaggeratedly alert and are inwardly always ready to jump. Life for them is an exciting drama full of emotionality. However, they quickly become bored when things repeat themselves and too much detailed work and care is required. Their creativity, their imaginativeness and their originality become most noticeable when developing new projects and ideas - they then leave the meticulous implementation of the whole to others. On the whole, Spontaneous Idealists attach great value to their inner and outward independence and do not like accepting a subordinate role. They therefore have problems with hierarchies and authorities.

If you have a Spontaneous Idealist as your friend, you will never be bored; with them, you can enjoy life to the full and celebrate the best parties. At the same time, they are warm, sensitive, attentive and always willing to help. If Spontaneous Idealists have just fallen in love, the sky is full of violins and their new partners are showered with attention and affection. This type then bubbles over with charm, tenderness and imagination. But, unfortunately, it soon becomes boring for them once the novelty has worn off. Boring everyday life in a partnership is not for them so that many Spontaneous Idealists slip from one affair into another. However, should the partner manage to keep their curiosity alive and not let routine and familiarity gain the upper hand, Spontaneous Idealists can be inspiring and loving partners.

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What have you been putting off all weekend?

Oh lordy. MY ARTWORK!

I just have not really had the opportunity between all the projects I have committed myself to and have planned for myself. I am... planning on going into a shark cage encounter trip, my cousin just had a baby, i have to write to my grandma who is in need of a friend right now, i am volunteering at a non-profit to be the designer of their newsletter layouts and had to research ad space and standard sizes, learning to string up my guitar THEN play it, learning to be a digital painter, studying japanese, making my portfolio website and... on TOP OF IT ALL, i need to do my artwork!

It all starts with pencil and paper for me. I'm practicing digital painting with stock photos off of DA for now, but I've got a lot of images in my head that I want to sketch for my portfolio.

*sigh*

On certain moments, on certain days
he only looks at me from the corner of his eye

like a spider sidling up his side that he's pretending not to be afraid of

And sometimes, he gazes at me like I'm an angel
with a smile that exposes a set of bloody fangs

He's trying to figure out whether I'm a gift or a curse

My hand on his thigh
A gentle caress of a demon before her meal

He looks at my hand
undecided as to whether it's a jewel or a trap

I have nothing to offer but everything he sees.

I have a jumble of images, thoughts, and words all shadows and remnants of emotional moments past that still creep it's way and party in my mind during idle hours.

I don't know where to begin.

It takes... a long time for me to truly process anything I've gone through in my life. Maybe it's because I'm always so antsy to move on and push forward. I'm always ready for the next thing without having truly patched up and put away the tattered remains of what I've left behind. It's easy to look at the bright clean slate of the future. It's always exciting to see what's up ahead and I keep thundering through those events, but in the quiet of the evening, I look back and really just see chaos. (*blink* wow. no pun intended on that one.)

Really, I don't even believe that the problem is what I left behind so much as that I am unable to recognize when the time has passed to fix certain things. My mind is still a carnival of ghosts and it shows in my art - now that I've started all over again. It's been great to me, although I haven't devoted as much time with it as I feel I should. So many metaphorical images come to me at all hours and my hands can't keep up with the ideas. Some great ones fall by the wayside, others are static as thumbnail doodles. The art is a mixed blessing because I am so happy to have found the passion and creativity for it again, but it only comes because my voice has pretty much been silenced. Verbally, I've learned to keep secrets in a way I've never had to before. It's a first in my life to have a secret I've shared with no one. Not one close friend, not one slipped sentence, not one instance of whispered confidence.

I had a concept of how personal art is to an artist because it was something I've always tinkered with. I now have a better understanding of just how personal art can be because every secret I've ever had peeks out from every curve and corner I sketch. Every shadow has a meaning, every line has a story. Because I can't speak, my art speaks for me whether I like it or not.

I guess I'm not as good at keeping secrets as I thought I was. Especially my own.

Show us something that's been on your mind a lot.

Interstate 5 Freeway at Night

She stopped behind me to greet some fellow students. I heard their chit chat, but didn't listen. As they said their goodbyes, she stopped in front of where I was sitting and turned her head to look at me. She waved as if we were friends so I hesitantly smiled and waved back. She compliments my top and I say thank you. In a complete unexpected move, she turns completely towards me and gives me a hundred percent attention.

"Have we met before? Maybe in dance class?"

I eye her and decide that, yes, she did look familiar. "Yeah, maybe... But wait. When?"

"Oh, last semester?"

I giggle a little in my head. It's been 4 years since I graduated college. What is she, a freshman? Sophomore, at most? I thought she meant class at the studio, not here in BYU.

I shake my head, but continue to chat with her since she seems adamant in getting to know me. She is nice, sweet, and has the looks of a local island girl, but isn't giving me that vibe. I find out she is from a town near Seattle and she's only here for college. I find out she loves the beach, obvious by her tan and the glimmer of haphazard scattered highlights in her hair.

Her eyes are big and innocent, although they study me intensely. Maybe it's just the LA in me, but I'm not used to this type of friendly attention from a pretty little stranger. Dirty old white men, yes. Darling doe eyed island girls, no. She seems confused because I don't seem to be a student, I don't seem to have any intention of attending this school, and I am not part of any ministry. Why am I here, she asks? And I tell her, my boyfriend and I were driving to Matsumoto's further down the island and we stopped here for lunch.

We chat a little bit more until the time comes for me to go. We say our goodbyes, but she grabs a notepad full of scribbles (which I never even saw anyone use in college and it piqued my curiosity a tad higher) and writes down her name and email address for me. As I walk away, with torn piece of paper in hand, she stops me and adds her phone number "in case you wanna hang out." Also, so adds a small picture of Jesus Christ and mentions that she belongs to a church. I introduce her to my bf, who has just appeared, and she softly says, "you are so cute" to us. She hugs me goodbye and we part ways.

Those who know me know that I believe in higher things in life, but I am not a big lover of the church. The church, as an architectural monument alone gives me some phobias. (Ever notice the horrid ugly things that happen in there in horror movies? It's a central plot for the devil.)

My boyfriend commented on her friendliness and thought I knew her. I told him what happened and he shrugs and says, "Maybe cause it's a Mormon school." At that comment, my eyes opened and I realized that everyone in the school seemed overtly touchy and friendly in a way I couldn't pinpoint until then. I FELT like I was at church. He then explained to me that he thinks that part of the school's requirements is that the student go on a two year mission to spread their word. So, I began to wonder about my little encounter...

She seemed like a lovely girl and something about her really picks at my brain. And it may be exactly why I haven't contacted her in anyway since meeting her. Something about her personality piques my interest, but being handed jesus christ really gave me pause.

My thoughts are that I hope "hang out" doesn't end with "at my church group." Genuinely, she did interest me because she was so bubbly and cute, but I hold back from contacting her because I don't wanna end up being a part of a "mission" and I so don't want god sold to me.

Yes, I'm a religion-phobe. (Yes, I may have made up that word.)

Show us something that makes you go "awwwwwwww."
Submitted by LittleWiseOne.

Seattle Skyline

A couple watching the city lights together on a night out.

Being from LA, people seem to be too stuck in their cars. Their homes. Their jobs. Their cafes.

People don't walk in LA. To see something like this, anywhere, is a complete "awwww" moment for me. Granted, this shot was taken in Seattle, but when I see it, it's something to appreciate. It's a moment when a couple stopped from a walk together to just look at the world and let it all sink in.

People don't change.

Sometimes, they adjust. Okay - sometimes I adjust. But change? I don't really think so. This is it. This is me. I may make a tweak here and there to accommodate the situation, the weather, the people - to fit what's appropriate, but it never really makes much of a change in me. Just... an adjustment.

Adaptations of me to fit the occasion.

Sometimes, I just think too damn much. I just wanna turn off the lights, clutch the earphones tightly around my ears, close my eyes, and dance it all away...

The mere mention of it never fails to strike a chord.
It's not about what happened in the city but that I fell in love with it. Not because of him. Not because of her. Each emotion has its own compartment. I loved the city but I fucked up IN it.
Right now, I can't touch it.
Some people nod in understanding. Others shake their head shame. I still made the choice - if he doesn't want me in NYC because of my mistake, then it's something I'm willing to eat up.
But when people close to me are making seemingly karma-induced trips to NYC at a time when I can't make a move toward the area, the emotion never fails to manifest as a lump in my throat, a hollow in my heart. Too hard to swallow, too wrong to verbalize.
The jealousy is thick. The rip evident. I clam up, remain mostly silent at the topic, while trying not to alienate people by ignoring the conversation.
My friend is there on a fashion internship. My family going for 2 weeks in the summer. Friends going impromptu. Karma laughs as it points to my face.

My mood... Matches the weather. Gloomy and restless. I feel more than a little lost these days. I just wish I knew more. I wish I had more direction. I wish I knew what I was doing.
I feel like I've failed myself miserably somewhere along the way. I wanted to feel the wind in my hair and I let myself fall. Now, I'm flat and useless on the ground. Broken and badly beaten. Completely helpless.
I feel as if I've gone wandering deep into the forest. As with most things, it was my curiosity that brought me there. Now, I'm lost. I'm just sitting here. On a rock. Hoping someone will find me.

Secondary to everything else.